baby gator

This past weekend I was able to spend 2 1/2 wonderful days with Erin, Emily and Kathleen up in Kohler Wisconsin at a day spa.  We had an amazing time relaxing and chatting about their babies and somehow, it came up that I had no real idea how to track my ovulation.  Emily brought up a calendar and we discovered that wait-what-really?, I was 4 days late.  Not major, but still.  We talked about weird things that were happening, like my baby dreams, or the fact that Bugsy (who has always been a mama's boy) was extra clingy over the past few days - not leaving my side and needing to be in my lap at every moment.  The girls were convinced, but it wasn't until I had some cramping during my facial and decided to talk to you that I was absolutely sure: every time I thought "Its me and you here baby...and we're going to be ok", it calmed down.  It was clear: on my way home, I was going to have to pick up a pregnancy test.

When I got home yesterday, Nate had just finished walking through a horrible rainstorm and was soaked to the bone - perfect opportunity for me to sneak in the bathroom quick and take that test.  I set it down and tried to prepare myself for the news, whatever way it came out.  But then it appeared.  I immediately started crying and grinning and "holy sh*tting".  Nate took a little bit more time to adjust to the news - asking me to take three tests before he knew it was true: we. are. pregnant. 

My little gator...the size of a teeny little orange seed.  You're making me emotional and bloaty, my boobs are sore and I have to pee like...well...a pregnant woman.  I love you more than I could imagine possible, and cannot wait to meet you in July!

boston

I cannot truly digest what happened yesterday afternoon.  At a marathon finish line.  In the middle of a beautiful Monday afternoon.  Completing a marathon is such a true accomplishment of the human body and spirit and to have that experience marred forever by this terrible act is impossible to fathom.

And yet.  While I was watching the first videos play yesterday on the news it struck me almost immediately: people running toward the blast.  Uniformed officers, marathon runners, observers ran TO the explosion instead of away from it.  Patton Oswalt said it better than I can.  Good does outweigh evil. 

Today I will walk for 26.2 minutes after work.  I will remember to be patient and kind to both friends and strangers, in honor of Beantown and those who suffer.

101

It is impossible to believe that the tank & I are just 101 days away from getting married.  Last Valentine's Day seems like forever ago and yesterday at the same time.  Right after we got engaged, when we knew based on timing (and money...because with wedding planning there's always that fun aspect) that we would have a long engagement, I was hesitant to make any decisions because I was worried my thoughts/desires for what I wanted would change.  Boy was I right. 

My Pinterest page points out the first things I absolutely "needed": grey bridesmaid dresses and pale pink, white & green flowers.  I also thought there was no way I would end up in anything other than a mermaid style gown.  HA.  Today, our color scheme (I hate that phrase) is coming together in rich shades of summer: blue, orange, yellow, bright pink and green and while I will spare certain details now, the wedding dress is definitely not a butt-clinger.

But most importantly, these past almost 14 months of wedding planning have renewed my love for my tanker.  They have reminded me that it doesn't matter what color our napkins are, or what shoes I wear, or if we choose option A/B/C/...Q for our responsorial psalm.  What matters is that we are committing to each other in the deepest way possible.  And in 101 short days, we will be tank and bean, for life.